Very often, women (and especially women of color) are faced with the idea that we can never be in charge and that we can never be “the boss.” And whenever we do try, it comes off as if we belong to the genus canis. I’m here to give my ladies out there a few tips on how to be a boss (because if you work hard, you deserve it)!
I’ve been called bossy and pushy my whole life, when in actuality I am very timid. I do, however, know what I want and will speak up for it whenever necessary. My dad, who has two girls, taught me very early to “speak truth to power” and I let those words ring in my mind whenever it’s time to flex my boss muscles.
B- Be in control!
This is not possible at all times but, whenever you can, plan and organize your life so that you can avoid surprises that can throw you off your game. I love scheduling my days. I even schedule free time. Being in control also means to take responsibility for and hold the reins of your emotions and actions. Nothing breaks my heart more than seeing grown women yelling at each other or on the brink of becoming physical. Hysterical behavior and violence are never the answers. So no, it’s not a good thing to have “no chill.”
O- Overlook negative comments!
When you start focusing on what’s important in life, like family, friends, jobs…and start going after it with a heartiness of a true boss, people are going to judge you. There will always be a “hater” in the form of someone who is jealous or misinformed. I would suggest avoiding and ignoring the “hater.” There’s no need to correct or confront someone who is speaking negatively about the things you are doing. “Sticks and stones…” yeah well words can hurt and I’ve been hurt by words, so I’m not saying to not be human and not let it affect you. I’m saying to let it make you better.
S- Say what you mean!
Bosses don’t ring around the rosy, sugarcoat, or hopscotch across eggshells. I do believe that the words you choose are extremely important for meaningful communication, so don’t be mean or rash, but you must also always be honest. Always say what you mean, because how else will you get what you want and need? I have never met a mind reader and so, as difficult as it is, when it’s time to get stuff done, I have to lay out all of my ideas on the table. Without fear. And without hesitation. Believe me, I know it’s hard. Certain personalities and certain arenas (whether it’s school or work) can be intimidating. A good friend once told me that it is better to live with guilt than regret. That is, it is better to act and have things get a little confusing and uncomfortable for a while, than not act and live with “what ifs” for the rest of your life.
S- Stand firm!
Not every decision is a perfect one. Some times plans fall through and people quit on you. But if you have a dream, you have to make sure that you never quit on yourself. Story time. In my fifth (yes fifth) semester of undergrad I decided that I had had enough and finally switched my major from Biomedical Science to English Literature. Now that it’s all worked out, no one wants to admit how much they judged me. It wasn’t that I hated biology or science or studying. I mean, I’m currently studying to be a physician. And it wasn’t that I had given up on my dream. I’ve had the same dream and goal since I was three years old. I just knew that, for my purpose in life (which is bigger than a couple of letters and a job), I needed to study something that would expose me to literary criticism, philosophy, journalism, and history. I use my degree every day. In medical school. As a published author. As a kick ass blogger. If I hadn’t taken a firm stand in 2012, I wouldn’t be the woman that I am in 2016. It’s scary and you might lose people along the way but you’ll gain so much more. More friends, more opportunities, and more bossness.
*Cues the music* This one’s for the girls. I really hope my words can reach and inspire some of you lovelies to be the best #BAWSES that you can be. XX! Until next time.